Tolerance

No one is perfect, and everyone has his or her flaws. So as individuals how do we gauge what we should tolerate? When does it pass tolerating and become us settling. When we know someone’s worth we understand how much we can tolerate from that person and vice versa. But can we really turn some red flags white.

It seems that the mentality of being able to change a person is slowly fading. We understand that instead of changing someone we adapt and tolerate. With that being said does he or she have habits that can't be over looked? I’m the type of person that thinks, if it bothers me in the beginning it can only get worse if not addressed. Now addressing it doesn’t mean you’re trying to change them, you’re allowing them to be aware of the things that they do, that you don’t particularly like or understand. Obviously this has to be done correctly, you can’t go in all guns blazing, they may feel ‘attacked’ or nagged even and to be fair it may just be something they didn’t realise they did.
Everyone has their levels of tolerance, so chances are the person or people before you could tolerate it. That doesn’t necessarily mean you should too, but it should get you thinking how much does it really affect you.

That’s all more suited to personal habits when it comes to habitual actions then it slyly becomes a different ball game. Everyone has their breaking point, so when is enough, enough.

It is so easy to be influenced by hearsay, the same people that say you shouldn’t put up with the things your partner or even your friends do, are probably the same people that are likely to go against their own advice when put into that position. Essentially if they have been in that situation before then it makes their advice that much more fitting but not always. Not to say you have to have gone through something to give advice, but if it is the case take it with a pinch of salt and add your own common sense to it. At the end of the day any action you take will be seen as yours, with no credits to whoever influenced you.

You and only you know when you’ve reached your limit and when you’ve had enough, no one should dictate what that limit is. Having an outside view should help keep you grounded, as we all know emotions can jade our judgment, but use your intuition to know when you’ve tolerated enough. Following actions rather than words can help you see this clearer. Words are like future actions, whereas actions good or bad can cement what happens in the present.

Everyone has a worth, but to different people that will vary, what are you tolerating and why? Weigh up your options and if your pros outweigh your cons or vice versa then question, is it worth it to you? Do they know your worth? be clear and true with yourself and see if you're being too lenient or overtly aware of certain traits.

If you feel like you've addressed anything one too many times think about why nothing has changed and adjust your tolerance levels if needed.

Titles

You starting dating someone new, and things are going smooth. The ‘honeymoon’ period they call it. Those morning and evening texts are flowing, the dates are frequent and the smiles aren’t fading.

So when do you become official?

Each to their own, everyone knows there is no clear guide on how to date or be in a relationship. Every relationship is a different combination depending on who is in it. So how do you gauge when to give yourselves a 'title' and be together ‘officially’?

Time scales

Everyone is different and these things vary, while some people would wait three months, others wait six, and some just dive straight it. But what are you really waiting for? Obviously there has to be that time that you get to know each other, see that you’re compatible, before you can become an item. But in this day and age where most people are just seeing each other or ‘dealing’ how often is it that you actually get to that point? Don't most people just end up parting ways and there you are not even being able to call them your ex.

Leaving it too long

Like I said before, what are you waiting for. Personally it's black and white…you either get married or break up (God forbid any other tragic possibilities), so if you can see an end, why go there in the beginning. People say they are waiting to see that he/she is right, when really you’re waiting to see if they will do wrong – hence you give yourself a pat on the back for not making it official. But what about the time ‘wasted’ before that. Now everyone will differ and you have to be sure, but sometimes there never is a right time. Before you know it instead of accepting and tolerating flaws, you use them as excuses and move on to the next one. But hey we have to remember our worth right.

Jinxed

It’s the curse of the title. When things start to change once you’re officially boyfriend and girlfriend (even saying it like that seems so old fashioned). Some become complacent, whilst others slowly let their true colour show. You can see why some wait before making it official, but does it all become excuses? A person will always show their true colours over time, but that time span varies as much as people vary. That honeymoon phase is the main reason you decide it’s worth it, but why change once you're in a secure relationship. Attitude and personality changes that happen just because time has passed, are the main reason things feel different. Both sides need to consistently remember their partners worth and continue to act the same way they were at the beginning. Even when you know you’ve got them, act like you’re still trying to get them and that's a two way thing.

Don’t confuse being comfortable with complacency, you should be comfortable enough to be yourself with your partner but being complacent is how most become too relaxed and unappreciative of each other. Both sides need to check themselves, remember why you got together in the first place (not that, that should always be the only thing keeping you together, i'll explain that another time) be active in showing each other you care and communicate.

For every situation just remember the fundamentals and take it from there.